What’s on your mind?Category: NEED HELP (specifically seeking tips/advice for faith/spiritual growth)Why do you think God keeps me in this same situation that I’ve been in for years?
Sheela Leigh Staff asked 4 months ago

(ANON QUESTION RECEIVED FROM GodfirstGodalways)

I’ve asked this question a lot of times to my friends and best friend but I just want to hear someone else’s perspective. Why do you think God keeps me in this same situation that I’ve been in for years? Situation dealing with a parent that makes my life extremely stressful & depressing. People say it’s because he wants me to learn something from it & I’ve really matured because of my situation at home but why do you think it’s something that seems like it will go on forever ?

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Sheela Leigh Staff answered 4 months ago

I’m glad you’re asking me this question because I can definitely relate. I agree with your friends that you’re in this situation because God wants you to learn something from it. I believe that you are a stronger, more faithful, more patient, persevering, and loving person today than you were then. Your situation will only go on forever if you don’t change the way you look at the situation. Have you forgiven your parent? I mean have you truly focused on what forgiving that person really looks like?

The parent I had to deal with was abusive. He verbally and physically abused my sister and I even in my early 20s. What did I get out of it? Resilience, joy, optimism, a transformed mind. My positive thought pattern did not happen over night, it was many, many stages of recommitting my life to God. No matter how hurt I was, I never gave up on my relationship with Him thanks to a best friend I had in high school whose dad was very much like mine. Resilience, joy, optimism, a transformed mind….these qualities I believe will equip anyone for success in this world….success in the eyes of God most importantly. Your situation with that difficult parent sounds like it’s your testimony. Don’t be ashamed of it, God chose who your parent was going to be, it was not a mistake who their child was going to be either.

The Lord taught me patience because my dad was not the most patient person. He taught me how to encourage myself then encourage others because my dad was not encouraging at all. He taught me peace and joy because he did not have these qualities. He taught me how to love most of all because he struggled to love. Though I was an easy target for my dad, boy did I fight for my life. Eventually his attitude rubbed off on me, and I developed anger issues and anxiety. I can say that I am so much more careful of what I say and how I behave around others these days because of what I had to go through, and I went through it with God despite how stubborn I was. Forgiving my dad was not easy. I held onto so much subconscious grudge so my maturity was very slow. I am a stubborn person at heart and it’s just something I have to work on for the rest of my life. But here I am today….my biggest lesson is humility, I believe due to the fact that I am just naturally very stubborn. So it’s a blessing in disguise. Seriously thank God for your struggles and mean it, and do that often.

I learned that how I treat my dad is how I will end up treating my future spouse. I see how much I’ve changed just from interacting with my boyfriend. There are times when I could have said something demeaning but by God’s Grace I am reminded that I don’t want to treat him like I treated my dad, otherwise I would just continue the cycle of verbal abuse. My dad may have caused problems for me in the past, but also my anger in response caused bigger problems for us. My dad has not physically hurt me in 10 years, I have forgiven him many times, many for the sake of reminding myself most of all. So if you have to remind yourself to forgive your parent or remind yourself that you’ve already forgiven them, then do it if it could help your heart. I believe the reason I went through those difficult times was so that I could draw myself closer to my Father in Heaven, so that I could tell the world what Jesus has done for me. My dad is calmer, still bursts in anger from time to time, but he was just voted to be a deacon at church and he prays confidently. I love him so much and I don’t think this would be possible had it not been for the faith my mom and I have. God is so awesome to change people!

So what do you truly believe in your heart is the reason for your difficult parent? Can you relate to the way I have matured despite the struggle you’re facing? If you can, then thank God for your tests because you know He has not stopped working on your heart. I believe He wants to hear that often coming from you because either He wants to reveal your purpose here on earth or He’s reminding you of your purpose. This is an opportunity to pray and gain faith and hope friend. I am praying for you tonight. <3

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

Isaiah 43:1-3 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

By God’s Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)

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