I started questioning my sexuality

Sheela Leigh Staff asked 3 years ago

I grew up in a household that wasn\’t very religious, only attending church on holidays and such. Two years ago, I started questioning my sexuality. It was a really difficult time for me and after confiding in a friend she suggested I turned to God. She helped me turn to the Lord for strength. How can I feel comfortable as someone questioning and as someone who has faith? Am I wrong in my feelings? I constantly feel as if I\’m \”too far gone\” for the Lord to accept me as myself.

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Sheela Leigh Staff answered 3 years ago

You have a great friend. I believe there are a lot more homosexual, bisexual, and even transgender individuals who profess Christ as Lord than we think there are. And I believe just like there are many lukewarm Christians among those who are not homosexual, bisexual, transgender, there are also many lukewarm Christians that are homosexual, bisexual, or transgender. Believing in one God is one thing, but living as a Christian with God as your daily guide is another. There is nothing to feel uncomfortable about if you’re questioning your sexuality and at the same time wanting to grow in faith. There are cheaters, drug addicts, murderers who have turned to God and who know their sin is great, but you shouldn’t categorize your situation as something totally different. A sin is a sin. Thoughts you’ve entertained in the past that don’t bring God the glory is just as dishonoring to God as perverse thoughts coming from a rapist. There is no one sin greater than another because God wants us to confess them all and be equally humbled. Your discomfort is something you have to deal with between you and God, but that’s just like with any other issue. You have to go to God first. Tell Him how you feel, and if you have to do it several times a day, ask Him to take the awkward feelings away so you can approach God as you fellowship with other believers.

You are not alone if you feel you are “too far gone”. Trust me. God does not withhold His love from you no matter how far you’ve gone. Everyone has their own sins and struggles they deal with and you are not alone in this one specific problem. I’m here to shed light that it’s a much more common issue than it seems because no one really talks about it, but since a few months ago when I first mentioned my thoughts on homosexuality, more and more individuals have come to me opening up about this very same thing you’re going through. But back to your question, “How can I feel comfortable as someone questioning and as someone who has faith?” I know you probably will not bring this up in a small group at church because of your discomfort, but since opening up about it online seems more safe for you right now, I suggest checking out Focus on the Family. They have articles on homosexuality, frequently asked questions and answers to them that you might find comfort and encouragement from – https://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/understanding-homosexuality/homosexuality-faqs. Also http://www.boundless.org/ has articles of individuals dealing with same sex attraction http://www.boundless.org/search-results#q=same%20sex%20attraction&t=All&sort=relevancy.

If I were you, I would keep doing research on this topic and watch videos on YouTube with Christians discussing same sex attraction. If I were you and not attending a church I feel comfortable in, I would often pray for God to guide me to that church I would feel comfortable enough in, and once I find that church, I would often ask God that He would help me be more bold and confident about bringing this issue up to a pastor and/or a small group of people I trust. If I were you, I would also put the focus on eating healthier, even if you are already doing that, step it up even more. Put the focus on integrating your faith with health and your mental wellness will benefit your spiritual growth.

I’m always here friend, listening with an open heart. I too have experienced sexual attraction towards the same sex, but I no longer struggle with the temptations. In my case however I never even brought it up to a pastor or a Christian friend. It was an issue I overcame with only God I often talked to. He was all I needed and He is still all I need. If the issue is overbearing for you, you definitely need to fellowship with other believers. I’m praying that you will gain the confidence and boldness to add on to your faith as you trust God where He is leading you in this journey, and may the wisdom, strength, and peace He blesses you with reward you with a desire to chase after His heart even more. In Him there is freedom. God bless you!

1 Timothy 1:8-11 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 John 1:7 but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)