I feel really lost in my spiritual journey. I don’t know how to pray anymore. My home church stresses me out these days & I’ve had anxiety attacks during service, because it all just feels so fake – the smiles, the how are yous/I’m goods, the same sermons that are really just patting ourselves on the back for being good. I want to surround myself with genuine people, but if I leave my family church to go to a new one I’ll just be seen as “another young adults who left the faith”. Any advice? 🙂
Only God can know whether you’ve left the faith or not, no one else can tell you otherwise. It sounds like you’ve been wanting to leave or considering it. If it’s been heavy on your heart to leave, then I believe sooner or later you will consider checking out other churches. I am hoping and assuming you and your family are Christian. If you’ve forgotten how to pray, just remember that when you feel like you’re out of words, Jesus Christ intercedes for you. He prays to God on your behalf (Hebrews 7:25). Be honest with yourself. Do you see leaving or not? I personally have left my family church a long time ago because it was difficult for me to pay attention to the pastor. And on top of that, there were a group of elders causing a lot of drama in my parents’ Bible study, which made them leave eventually and end up starting one of their own with a few members. I no longer go to that church as well because the pastor speaks mainly Tagalog, which I can’t fully understand, and overall I just have a hard time fitting in. The church I go to is called Valley Bible Fellowship and I always end up leaving service glad and grateful I was able to make it. I never experience anyone faking their happiness there and the messages speak to me in a way that allows me to easily understand and relate. God knows you more than yourself or anyone else, so a person’s judgement of you should not matter to you. You’ve got to know for yourself if your desire to leave is out of selfish ambition or righteousness. Write down the pros and cons of leaving and the pros and cons of staying. Then after that, figure out why they are pros and why they are cons to you. Then after that, figure out what specifically from the lists God would like you to work on. Pray about them. You will know if your intentions are godly or not. I believe that should help you out just knowing what to pray about and how because doing this activity will encourage you to start a conversation with God. Let me know if this helped at all. I will keep praying for you that the Lord will bring you back to the heart of worship, so you will be filled with discernment and confidence to pray out of humility in order that you will know what to do. Be blessed!
Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints,
1 Corinthians 2:14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.
1 King 3:9 Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?”
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
Hebrews 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
Philippians 1:9-10 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
1 John 4:1-6 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. …
By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)