What’s on your mind?Category: NEED HELP/ADVICE (concerning life/relationships/work)Do you have advice on how to handle missing someone?
Sheela Leigh Staff asked 3 months ago

(ANON QUESTION RECEIVED FROM GodfirstGodalways)

This isn’t quite your usual question but I love the advice you give and the things you say so I thought I would send it anyway. If you do answer, thank you so much in advance. Do you have advice on how to handle missing someone? The sadness and longing weighs on me constantly and I find it hard to focus or be happy about anything. I am constantly reminded of how much I miss them by everything- songs, movies, etc.

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Sheela Leigh Staff answered 3 months ago

Thank you. I always answer everything that make it to my inbox. 🙂 Honestly, this is a little hard for me. I could say just pray more or read your Bible, but that’s nothing new we both don’t know already. I’ve never had anyone pass away who was dear enough to my heart and pretty much all my past significant others were long distance. So I’ve been trained by it. The last time I truly missed someone terribly was my very first boyfriend, but I believe the idea of love I had for him wasn’t even the type that God was pleased with, and so I also believe the way I missed him when I moved away was not pleasing to God too. It was more so on the selfish, very self-centered side.

When you think of the person, do you mostly remember how much you benefitted from them, how happy you were or how complete you felt when they were around, or just how much better things were because they were pretty much your everything? If your feelings and thoughts are what is magnified, then learn to shift your thinking from yourself to something that you can find purpose in. I would advice taking the attention off yourself and using your energy to help others, build them up….try charity and pour yourself into service. Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed (Proverbs 11:25). If the person’s influence, character, or personality is what you’re focused on, then you still need to shift your attention to something that will remind you of your purpose in God.

Whatever we magnify in our mind to the point that it’s affecting how we live life is often an indication of idolatry. I know you miss the person with all your heart, but please focus more on God by drawing yourself closer to Jesus because He is the only One who is patient enough to help you put your sadness and loneliness to rest. Rest in Him. There’s a reason why they are not around and this is a reminder that God was and is behind it all. Look to Him for solace because He needs your attention on Him than on the person you are missing. The LORD knows the longings of your heart and by leaning on Him, you will be reminded that He is your all in all, and nothing can satisfy your soul better than He can. Have you ever looked into taking 5HTP supplements? I take them for my occasional blues (PMS) and they help me. I am praying for you friend. 🙂

Psalm 116:1-2 I love the LORD, for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned is ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live.
 
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)

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