Isaac’s Race

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I have a brother who laughs with great confidence. In fact his name means “One who makes me laugh” or “laughter”. I love his innocence and I love his growing knowledge of the world. But he doesn’t think he has enough confidence in himself. I tell him “Today is going to be a great day.” He replies by repeating the same words, except I can see in his eyes a slight struggle to believe. Every night I put him to bed with a reminder, “Tomorrow is going to be a great day.” And he replies with eyes that I’d like to see the same way the next day. I was mad and jealous to my guts when this boy was just a fetus. I knew that my life would basically end, because I would then become the middle child, and my needs would be non-existent. I had become a mother to a younger brother from the same mother. Straight out of high school. I had no choice. But the Big Man put the responsibility in my small hands, because He knew I could handle Isaac. God helped me make sense of it, and I believe He let Isaac in on it too. I remember one night when he was 8 years old, I helped him with homework that had me convulsing with anger. He looked at me and said, “You’re going to be a great mother one day because I’m your training ground.” I wish our parents had told me something similar along the lines the day the unplanned boy was due. Without him, I would not laugh with confidence. I would not feel like the child at heart I am today. I would not be the sister or daughter striving to be a better example. Without him, I could care less about the responsibilities that would shape my character. And without him, I would not pray so much for confidence. It’s perfect the way God had planned it. I would become his closest friend and he would be mine. And I would point out to him who he can get his confidence from. God. He has a speech to make today, and Lord knows I try my best as his coach. He wants to be the next 5th grade class treasurer. As I run my own race, I pray he runs his with confidence and gusto. 🙂

By His Grace, Sheela (via sheelaleigh.com)

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